It's been a long & winding road for me since the last note I wrote; bedridden four days, listening to Rupert Spira's rendition of non-duality, and tapping into the quantum field of healing energy. More than anything else, I had been longing for a deeper spiritual realization. I still don't have a diagnosis about what's going on with my back (I see the specialist tomorrow). I made the decision to go ahead to the Science & Non-Duality Conference in San Jose. It was a four hour trip, and I had my first wheel chair experience at the airports.
My first session was with Jean Houston. She took us on a journey into the Quantum Field and suggested that we connect with one of the lives we'd lived before and bring that life into this one. I didn't know I could do that, but I did what she said and had the sense that I had been a healer in a past life. I connected with her and brought her energy into my back. I was almost pain free the rest of the trip.
Many of the major scientists, psychiatrists, and spiritual teachers were at the conference; Deepak Chopra, Peter Levine, Daniel Siegel, Paul Stamets, A. H. Almaas, Robert Sapolsky, Robert Thurman, etc. But after three years of attending this conference I was most impressed by the presence of Kabir Helminski, one of the most influential Muslims in the world and translator of Rumi's poems. There was something exceptional about him. It was as if he was aglow with radiant light. When I heard about the synagogue shootings, I started to read his book, Living Presence, and now I know the reason for his radiant light.
He tells a Sufi story about a young man who was trying to find his way in life. He couldn't remember what it is he really wants. He saw an old man whose face was radiant with life and compassion, and he asked him if he could help. The old man asked, "What do you deeply love?" The young man said he'd forgotten about love. The old man said, "There are four kinds of people. First, there are the Pretenders. Then there are the Warriors. Third, you may meet, God willing, the People of Remembrance." The old man explained the traits of these three types of people and none of them were in touch with the One Life from which all life flows.
The young man was overcome with sadness, and the tears were flowing. He felt so far from anything real--so lost-- but the sight of the radiant face of his old friend took away his sense of hopelessness. The old man said, "Oh, dear one, slave of your own ego, beggar, orphan living in exile, the fourth group you will meet, God willing, are the People of Total Submission. They are speechless. They undertake no unnecessary action on their own, but there is no obstacle to the will of their great Self, no hesitation, no second thoughts, no bargaining. They have reached the most subtle state of themselves. They are transparent as if they are nothing, because they recognize their own nothingness. These people ask nothing for themselves because they are idenitifed with the Creative Power itself. You may live among them for many years until you know of their state and your actions appear as theirs, but you will not be inwardly one of them if you still suffer from separation, if you are still yourself, if you still feel lover and beloved. If your experience still comes from the well of your own subconscious, by your own inner faculties--as long as a trace of you remains in you--you have not attained your purpose. Know that there is a knowledge and a certainty that comes through Spirit alone. Spirit plus nothing: That is your highest destiny." Kabir Helminski is living in this same non-dual state. It was most apparent to me. And I want to be there, too!